Managing Former Peers

Why It Matters
Getting promoted is exciting—until you realize you’re now managing your former peers. One day you’re side by side in the trenches. The next, you're leading the team. That shift can create tension, confusion, and awkward dynamics if it’s not handled well.

The Challenge
Most new managers underestimate how tricky this is. They either overcorrect—becoming overly authoritative—or undercorrect—avoiding accountability conversations to “keep the peace.” Neither works. You have to reset the relationship while maintaining respect and connection.

Real-World Example
A new team leader once told me she delayed addressing performance issues with a former peer because they used to be work friends. The result? Other team members noticed, started slacking off, and morale dropped. Once she reset expectations and clarified her role, things improved—but the delay made it harder.

How to Navigate It

• Acknowledge the transition early. Name the shift, and affirm respect.

• Clarify expectations—your role now includes accountability, direction, and decision-making.

• Stay human—lead with empathy, not ego.

• Be fair and consistent—don’t favor or avoid old friends.

You Don’t Have to Pretend Nothing Changed
Something has changed. That’s okay. Address it with confidence and compassion, and you’ll earn the respect of your team—even the ones who used to sit next to you.