Why Managers Think They’re Listening and Why It Still Falls Short

Most managers believe they listen well.

They make time for one-on-ones.
They ask questions.
They respond thoughtfully.

And yet, many teams still feel unheard.

The gap isn’t intention. It’s attention.

For new managers, first-time managers, and midlevel managers especially, listening often becomes a performance instead of a practice. Leaders are focused on solving problems, moving fast, and proving competence—often while the other person is still talking.

Listening Isn’t Passive

Listening isn’t waiting for your turn to respond.

It’s the discipline of setting aside assumptions long enough to understand what someone is really saying.

Research from Harvard Business Review shows that employees who feel listened to are more engaged, more loyal, and more willing to contribute ideas. Feeling heard isn’t a “nice to have.” It’s a performance driver.

Where Listening Breaks Down

Listening usually fails in predictable ways:

• Leaders interrupt with solutions too early

• Questions are asked, but answers are rushed

• Emotional signals are ignored in favor of facts

• Conversations are treated as tasks to complete

Over time, people stop sharing fully because it doesn’t feel worth the effort.

Empathy Is the Skill Behind Listening

Empathy is often misunderstood as agreement or softness. In leadership, it’s neither.

Empathy is the ability to understand someone’s perspective without immediately correcting it.

Amy Edmondson’s research on psychological safety shows that teams perform better when leaders demonstrate curiosity and openness, especially in moments of uncertainty. That starts with listening that isn’t rushed or defensive.

What Strong Managers Do Differently

Effective managers listen with the goal of understanding, not fixing.

They:

• Let people finish thoughts without interruption

• Reflect back what they heard before responding

• Ask follow-up questions instead of giving immediate advice

For senior managers and director-level leaders, this skill becomes even more critical. The more authority you have, the more carefully you must listen—because people filter themselves around power.

Why This Matters

When people don’t feel heard, they disengage quietly.

When they do feel heard, trust builds faster than any process ever could.

Empathy isn’t about slowing the business down.
It’s about removing friction that listening problems create.