The Conversation Doesn't Get Easier While You Wait
Most managers know when someone's performance is beginning to slip.
A deadline gets missed. The quality of the work changes. A customer complains.
The manager notices.
And then something very human happens.
They wait.
Maybe it was an unusual week. Maybe the employee will figure it out. Maybe mentioning it will make things awkward. Maybe the manager likes the person and doesn't want to hurt the relationship.
So another week passes.
What could have been a relatively simple coaching conversation becomes something much bigger.
Kim Scott tells a version of this story in Radical Candor. She had an employee she calls Bob whose work wasn't meeting expectations. Scott liked him and didn't want to hurt him, so she softened her feedback, corrected some of his work herself, and hoped he would improve.
Eventually, the situation became impossible to ignore.
When she finally told Bob his performance wasn't good enough, his response was essentially: Why didn't you tell me?
Scott later described what she'd done as ruinous empathy. She cared about the person so much that she avoided telling him something he needed to hear.
That's a trap every manager should understand.
Waiting Changes the Conversation
Underperformance rarely improves because nobody talks about it.
Usually, the opposite happens.
The behavior continues. Coworkers begin compensating. Customers experience the consequences. The manager becomes increasingly frustrated.
And the employee may still have no idea how serious the situation has become.
A conversation in week two might sound like:
"I've noticed the last two reports have had several errors. Let's talk about what's happening and how I can help."
Four months later, the conversation sounds very different.
Now there's a pattern.
Now there are consequences.
Now everyone is frustrated.
Early conversations can still sound like coaching. Late conversations often sound like consequences.
People Deserve to Know Where They Stand
Gallup's research on performance management has repeatedly emphasized frequent, meaningful feedback rather than relying primarily on annual reviews.
That makes sense.
Feedback is most useful when it's close enough to the behavior for someone to understand it, adjust, and try again.
Yet new managers and even experienced midlevel managers often hesitate because they believe direct feedback will damage the relationship.
Clear feedback, delivered respectfully, can actually strengthen it.
The employee knows where they stand.
The manager demonstrates that they're willing to help.
And both people can work on the problem while there's still time to improve.
Start With the Gap
There's another reason managers avoid these conversations.
They don't know what to say.
Don't begin by judging the person.
Describe the gap.
Instead of:
"You're not responsive enough."
Try:
"Our expectation is that customer emails are answered within one business day. Over the last three weeks, seven responses have taken longer than two days. I'd like to understand what's getting in the way."
Now you have a conversation.
There's an expectation.
There's observable performance.
There's a gap.
And there's an opportunity to understand what's happening.
That's management.
Have the Conversation While It Can Still Help
Think about your team.
Is there a conversation you've been telling yourself you'll have if something happens "one more time"?
Don't wait for one more time.
Have the conversation while it can still help.
Not angrily.
Not dramatically.
Have it because you want the person to succeed.
Sometimes the conversation you're avoiding is the very conversation your employee needs you to have.
Read this week's Boundless newsletter:
Managers: The Conversation You're Avoiding Is Getting More Expensive
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